He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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