there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
