we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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