I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You can't just leave with hair like that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
