weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
