omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
