After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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