Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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