I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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