An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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