just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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