Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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