dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
