im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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