He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
