So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
