Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
