He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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