just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize