I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
false alarm. still invincible.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
