adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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