omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize