I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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