I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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