you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
