I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
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He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
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I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was