420 ftw
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize