yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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