Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
