i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize