Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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