if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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