Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect