my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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