I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
