VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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