In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
