Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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