we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize