i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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