Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
