so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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