Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize