Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
