i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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