Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize