is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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