I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So many bounce houses so little time
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
