Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
