I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
