the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
