at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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