dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Please don't give away my fajitas
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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