I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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