and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
