If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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