so explain again why im purple
no
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
