dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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