i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize